Twisting Fate Page 5

  It's a close up picture of him and I looking into each other’s eyes from someone else's perspective. We're on the football field dressed out in uniform and wrapped in each other’s arms. I've never seen what we look like from an outside point of view before. His forehead is pressing against mine with my face in his hands. We look so in love that I can't even breathe looking at it. The gaping hole in my chest begins to throb as if someone just ripped the stitches open before the tear could heal.

  I miss you so much, Brey. This isn't fair. We didn't have enough time together. The kind of love we had for each other has to count for something. It was rare and treasurable.

  I don't know who took the photo, but it's stunning. The angle looks like it's from above us, in the bleachers maybe. The nightstand beside the bed has two drawers. The top holds his boxers and the bottom his white undershirts. Removing one of each, I lay the frame down just long enough to change into his clothes before picking it back up. I hold it to my chest and lay down in his bed, pulling the covers over me. I feel content for the first time since that horrible day and my mind somewhat clear. In hindsight, I shouldn't have consumed any amount of alcohol tonight knowing I'm pregnant, but I wasn't even thinking about the baby. I hope I didn't do anything harmful. I've never done anything that stupid. Surely, one shot won't hurt it. I wasn't even drunk. I really need to stop being so selfish. Snuggling with the photo in my arms, I drift off to sleep.

  ***

  I'm standing on a white beach; one that I've been on before. I recognize the familiarity everywhere, but I'm not sure why. Even something in the air feels familiar to me as I stand looking out at the clear water before me. I'm wearing a white mono-kini and I have the strangest feeling of deja vu. The sun warms my shoulders and the breeze kisses my face. Why does this place feel like I've been here before? I turn around and see a bed sitting on the sand with white linen and behind it another small building. Looking to the side I notice further down the beach is a beautiful villa built out in the water.

  I'm confused after I look down at my left hand and find a beautiful square cut diamond and then it hits me. I dreamed of this place one night that week I met Breyson. Why am I here? What is significant about this place? Is this some kind of sick joke my subconscious is trying to play on me? There is one way I can know this isn't real. I look down and search for the tattoo I had done earlier. It won't be there if this is something made up or a repeat of the same dream.

  What I find during my search causes me to stop breathing. My tattoo is there. The perfect piece of art on my ribcage is present, unlike the last time I had this dream, but what does this mean? When I look down the beach, what I see makes the hole in my chest cavity begin to beat as if my heart has been revived. This has to be some kind of mirage.

  Breyson is standing in the sand looking at me with open arms like he's waiting on me to come to him. I don't even think. On instinct, I take off running towards him. I run down the beach as fast as my size six feet will move, causing my calves to burn. After what seems like an eternity, I reach him and jump in his arms, gluing myself to him. Like he always does, he catches me and holds me underneath my butt. Tears stream down my face as I place my palms over his cheeks. "I've missed you. I've missed you so much. You left me. Please don't leave me again."

  "I've missed you too, baby. I would never leave you by choice." He kisses me deeply and it's like we've been starved for each other. I moan as our tongues connect and I taste what I've been missing for days. He is everything to me. I lock my feet behind him scared he will vanish into thin air. He finally breaks the kiss once we're out of air, but I don’t want him to. I don’t need air as long as I have him. "When I said forever I meant it, Kinzleigh. Look at your hand." When I do I see the gorgeous rock sitting perfectly on my finger.

  "What about it? Where did it come from?" He removes one hand from my thigh, the left one. He presses it against my cheek to wipe the tears that are free falling. I can feel cool metal against my warm skin. Placing my right palm on the front of his hand, I bring it before me to inspect it. It's a silver wedding band surrounding his ring finger. "We're married?"

  "This is a dream, Kinzleigh. I'm just as confused as you are. Our souls must be searching for one another. I can't be with you right now, but I'm trying to get to you. We're not married yet, but as soon as I can get back to you I'll never leave your side again. You'll get sick of me before I leave you alone. I will marry you, Kinzleigh. I don't care what I have to sacrifice. I'll follow you wherever you want to go. I don't care that we're young. Don't you get it? Until we die our souls will always find each other just like that day on the beach or when you moved to the same town. They won't stop until they are linked together forever. Why do you think we're here together right now? They are fighting to connect again. We are miserable apart. We are separated, but only physically. You heard me at the cemetery, right?" I am completely insane, but right now I don't care. All I care about is the fact that he's here holding me, kissing me and it feels more real than anything else in my life.

  "Yes, Breyson, I heard you. Where are you? I need to know why I'm hearing you if you're dead. I have something to tell you. I'm pregnant, Breyson. I don't want to raise our baby alone." Saying out loud that he's dead, makes me kiss him again just to prove to myself this is real. It feels completely real, but if it's a dream I never want to wake up.

  "I don't know where I am, baby, so I can't answer that question, but know that I'll always find you, 'til death do us part. I don't know how much longer I have to be here with you, but I'll stay until I have to go. I know you're pregnant baby and you won't be alone. Somehow, I always know what you’re feeling, together or separate. I need you to have faith that our baby will bring me home. My love for you will bring me home and your love for me will keep me going to find a way to get there. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I will. I want you to know I will always do everything in my power to come home to you. You're my life, Kinzleigh; you always have and always will be. I've never loved anything like I love you and never will again. I've had my life flash before my eyes and it wasn't the life I thought it would be, it was the life with you and the life I still want to have. Te amo chica hermosa. Esperame(I love you, beautiful girl. Wait for me.)" He kissed me after reciting those beautiful words to me, but what do they mean? Why oh why is my Spanish class failing me when I actually need it? Why do I feel like it's some kind of sign or clue? I need to figure this out. I need to find my blue-eyed boy. I embed it to my memory to look up later.

  "Make love to me, Breyson. I need to feel you. I need to know you're really here. Please..." I sound desperate, but I don't care. I just need him inside of me. I need it for my sanity. He carries me out into the clear water, but never lets me go.

  "I'll always give you what you want, Kinzleigh. I'm sorry I got you pregnant. I know this isn't what you wanted, what we wanted. I know we are young and didn't plan this, but I'm glad it happened with you if it was part of my destiny. In that aspect I can't regret it. Call me selfish, but I like the idea of being tied to you permanently. I just thought it would be marriage first. I like knowing no one else can touch you while I'm gone, because you're carrying something that is mine." He lifts me into the air as if I weigh nothing, until he can kiss my flat belly.

  Holding me wrapped in one hand, he begins removing my swimsuit with the other, baring my body to him. I get butterflies in my stomach as he inches it down just a little bit at a time. He kisses the side of my neck and I start to arch, exposing more to him. He's the only one that has this kind of power over me, the only one that weakens me. He sets me down in the water and I grab onto him in sheer terror of letting him go. "I need to remove your swimsuit, baby. I'm not going anywhere...yet." That last word causes me to whimper, but I do as he says and stand on my feet.

  My upper half is completely exposed and he hooks his hands onto the bottom half sitting on my hips and finishes sliding them downward until they are completely removed. "Damn, I've missed the way you look naked." He
quickly removes the shorts he's wearing and lowers down on his knees in the water. I place my hands on his shoulders for support, wondering what he's doing. He kisses my stomach again and whispers something I can't make out. How can one person have this much effect on someone else? I feel alive for the first time in days.

  We're not far out enough for the water to be deep and you can see straight through to the white sand that lies on the ocean floor amongst the shells and coral. He sits back on his heels and pulls me down to sit on his lap by my waist. "I love you, Breyson. I love you with all of my heart. You own every part of me: mind, body, and soul. I know I was a little cryptic with my views on love before I met you, but I guess that was just part of being immature and not finding the person that makes you change your views. You're that person for me. I knew it before, but losing you only confirms it." He skims his hands up my back and I can't help but to close my eyes at the amazing way it feels in the warm water. Placing my breast in his mouth, he flicks his tongue over my nipple. That little bit of bliss almost puts me over the edge in euphoria. I've needed his touch. You never realize how much you need something until it’s gone.

  He guides me in the correct position and aligns at my entrance as he looks up at me. "I love hearing you say things like that to me. We've come a long way from the two immature seventeen year olds we were that day on the beach. I know we're still young, but I know you're the one I want to experience life with, Kinzleigh. Some people are just lucky enough to find it early. Show me how much you love me so I have it to hold onto while we're apart. I want to see how much I affect you."

  It's hard for me to imagine this moment ending. I want to stay this way forever. I take his lips in mine and he slips inside at the same time. I can feel it as if it's completely real. How do you differentiate the real world from the dream world when the dream realm feels as if you're living in reality? I've missed this; the feeling of completion each time we're together. Whether it's just in each other’s presence or in the act of intimacy, both leave me feeling whole. He guides me up and down as we kiss each other; basking in the moment we were given to see each other again. He goes slowly, as if he's trying to draw it out, making this a sacred moment. Sometimes time can be the enemy in a world of happiness.

  He begins rocking me back and forth, knowing that will get me off. His lips stay locked with mine mingling and pulling at my lips as the sensation starts to build inside. Everything begins to spasm down below and I want to stop and keep going at the same time as an orgasm overpowers my body. Nothing will ever be better than this moment. He takes my waist in his hands and bears down into his pelvis as he himself gets off.

  "Remember this, Kinzleigh, because I need you to remember. I'm coming for you. I just need you to believe it's true. Tengo que ir por ahora(I have to go for now)." Again with the Spanish and I'm starting to panic, because I don't know what it means. Why is he speaking in Spanish to me?

  He pulls me off of his lap and I clench the skin on the back of his neck in an attempt to keep him here. I don't understand what's happening. Reaching behind his neck, he breaks my hold and begins walking away from me, further out into the ocean. "No," I scream. "Don't leave me, Breyson. Please don't leave me!" I begin running after him; wading through the water, but he's too fast. In a second, he's gone. Where did he go?

  My first response is to scream and I do. It's causing the ugly cry as I look around for him, but he's no longer here. This can't be happening to me again. I just got him back and it wasn't enough time. I need more time. Everything around me is beginning to fade, confusing me. I don't want to go back. I need to find Breyson. "Breyson," I scream as loud as I can; so loud that my throat becomes hoarse. "Come back to me. Please, don't leave me again. I'm begging you to come back. Where did you go? This isn't funny, Breyson!" I’m screaming so loud that it’s causing me to cough. I'm being repetitive, but I don't care. I just need him to hear me. If he hears me he'll come back; I know he will.

  Suddenly, I feel like something is holding me down, but I don't know what. "Shh, shh, shh. Kinzleigh, it's okay. Calm down, I got you." My eyes open and Briar is lying behind me with his arms wrapped around my body, holding me to his chest. He's speaking low, in an attempt to calm me down without scaring me, or so I would assume. "Tell me what you saw."

  "Is she okay?" I can hear Braxton's voice at a distance, but I can't see him. It sounds like he's beside the door, but he's staying out of my direct line of sight.

  "Let me go back. I want to go back. Please, Briar, I need to find him. I didn't have enough time. I need to know what he meant by what he said. I don't get it and I need to know." I'm crying and kicking hysterically, but he continues to hold on to me even though I’m kicking him.

  "Kinzleigh, it was just a nightmare. You're here in his bed. Breyson isn't here. Tell me what you saw." He is remaining calm, but I can tell by his tone he's upset. His words are coming out strained.

  "It wasn't a nightmare, he was there. He said he was coming back for me and said something in Spanish. It was some kind of clue and I need to know what it meant. I need to go back to sleep so he'll find me again." From the way he breathes behind me I can tell he doesn't believe me. He thinks I'm crazy which is exactly the way I feel, but I can't give up. He asked me not to give up. I just need to remember what he said so I can put the clues together.

  Chapter 4

  Breyson

  I open my eyes to the beeping of a machine. I look around, but nothing looks familiar. I search my brain for any memory as to where I am or why I'm here in what appears to be a hospital, but come up blank. Why can't I remember anything? Hold up a second. What is my name? Why can't I remember my fuckin' name?

  I start to panic and look around for some kind of clue as to what's going on. I find a hospital bracelet wrapped around my wrist and look it over to see what it says, but it's written in Spanish. Why would it be written in Spanish? Ninguna identificacion (no identification) is what it reads. I probably didn't really pay that much attention in Spanish class since I am only guessing at the meaning. I don't think many people do. Spanish teachers in high school are usually easy and do what they have to, to pass the kids, but nothing more or at least I think. Maybe I just didn't pay attention.

  My head feels cloudy and when I touch the back of my skull I can feel a long strip of stitches and the surrounding skin is sensitive. What happened to me? My heart is starting to race, causing the machine next to me to beep more frequently. I'm silently freaking out. I begin pressing inward on my temple with the tips of my fingers.

  The hospital door opens and a middle-aged man walks in wearing a white lab coat. He's holding a metal clipboard and flipping through the pages attached to it. I presume this would be the doctor. He's tall with black hair and bronzed skin, dressed in slacks and a dressy shirt. I hope he can speak English well, but I'm sure he has an accent that will be hard to decipher. Where am I? "I'm assuming you're probably confused, so I'm going to ask a few questions to see where you're at," he says as he looks up from the sheet of paper before him.

  "I'm going to give you a briefing first. My name is Dr. Samuel Rodriguez and I'm a Neurologist here. You were found barely keeping afloat in the ocean, unconscious, by a local fisherman and brought here for medical attention. We aren’t sure how you got there or why since you were completely stranded in the middle of the ocean without any identification. We’re guessing some kind of wreck or accident, but you were completely alone. By the time they found you, you had already lost a significant amount of blood. You must have hit your head, hard, fracturing your skull and causing your brain to swell. We placed you in an induced coma to allow the swelling to decrease before we could assess the damage. That brings us to now; you in a state of consciousness." He pauses for a moment giving me a chance to process all of this new information.

  Did he just say wreckage? What kind of accident would he be talking about: plane, boat? Why can't I remember anything? Will my memory come back? I have so many questions that I want answered, but do I even
really want to know the answers? Sometimes, it's better to be left in the dark than to get bad news. I guess I could start with the easy questions. "Where am I?"

  He writes something on his clipboard and looks back up at me. "Spain." Spain...how on earth did I get in Spain? Did I live here? "Tell me the last thing you remember." I rub my hands over my face as I begin to ponder. "It's okay if it takes you a while. Try to let your brain process and see what comes back. Sometimes, all the brain needs is a trigger for a memory to return. I'll even start with a few simple questions to see if it helps. What's your name?"

  I blink at the question and the same panic from earlier returns. What is my name? That's a simple question and one I should know the answer to, but if it's so easy why am I coming up with nothing but black? It's as if my mind has been erased. "I don't know," I say honestly.

  He begins writing something down on that damn chart again. I feel like I'm in a psych ward. "It's okay if you don't know the answers right now. We are just doing a basic evaluation for the time being. The brain can be a tricky and peculiar organ. Some things may come back quickly, some things may take a while and some things may never come back. You need to prepare yourself for the worst possible outcome with a brain injury. Now, back to the questions. Do you know how old you are or what year you were born?" I think hard; really I try, but again I come up with nothing.

  I shake my head and I'm starting to get angry. He writes something for the third time. "Do you know where you're from?" I have a strong feeling it's not here, but where else I have no idea. Just as I'm about to shake my head no a vision begins to flash through my mind causing me to freeze. It's a girl. She's blonde with platinum bouncing curls. I close my eyes to focus. She looks like she is walking straight toward me. My heart starts to pick up as it plays on. "What’s wrong? Are you starting to remember something? What do you see?"