Twisting Fate Page 7

  "Yes, Maria, this is the one I was telling you about. Where is Antonio? I'd like to speak to him before I go." He continues pushing me forward until we reach the steps that lead to the porch. She's a very attractive woman. I start to get a comfortable vibe being in her presence and I think I'll be okay here.

  She smiles as we ascend the steps and walks over to give me a hug. Luckily, I'm used to the heavy accent from being around Dr. Rodriguez and the hospital staff, so it's easier to decipher what she says. She releases me, but continues to rest her hands on the side of my shoulders, motherly. "It's good to have you in our home. Any friend of Samuel's is a friend of ours. I want you to make yourself at home here. This is your home just as it is ours. Am I understood?"

  I nod and respond. "Yes, ma'am."

  In return she smiles bigger. "Good. My name is Maria Salvador, but I expect to be called Maria. Antonio is out back inspecting the cattle. He will show you around the property in the morning. It's almost at sunset and it will be dark soon. You can spend the rest of the night getting familiar with where you'll be staying." She looks beside her at the boy and pulls him close. This is my son, Marcus. He's been looking forward to meeting you since Samuel mentioned you might be interested in the position. Hopefully, you two will come to know each other and it will a be nice entertainment for him."

  The boy looks excited as he takes me in and then up at his mother. "Do you want me to show him to his room," he asks his mother.

  "Yes, then you two can get familiar. That would be great, actually. Dinner will be ready soon and I will call for both of you." He grins from ear to ear and waves his hand for me to follow him.

  I pick up my one duffle bag of clothes and look at Doc. "I'll see you later then?"

  He reaches in his pocket and pulls out a brand new cell phone. "Oh, yes, before I forget this is for you as long as you're here. I'm on speed dial. Call me anytime you need me and I will answer."

  He hands it to me, but I shake my head. "I can't accept that. You've done enough for me already."

  Grabbing my hand he places the cell phone in my palm and closes my fingers over it. "Son, I'm doing this more for myself than for you. Just take it and make the father in me feel better. You should always have a form of communication in case you need it."

  Instead of arguing I take it. "Thank you for everything." He nods and I turn to look at the boy waiting on me at the door. The excited look on his face helps ease the tension that I have trying to rage through my body. I trail behind him into the house. I have a feeling I'm going to like this kid.

  He guides me through the beautiful home decorated in orange, brown and cream colors. It's large and spacious. When we reach the back of the house we exit through a door onto a back patio. Occasionally, he looks over his shoulder to ensure I'm still following him. "You'll have your own privacy out here. Father built it for guests. He has another place for the workers, but my parents requested that you stay here."

  I'm really surprised with the level of hospitality, given the fact they don't know me from a stranger on the street. "That's really not necessary. I don't expect any special treatment. I'm fine with staying where the other employees stay," I tell him.

  "No way. Dr. Rodriguez is a close friend of the family. My parents would be offended if you stayed out there." I continue to follow him until we reach a building that looks like a small house. This can't be a guest room. It looks about the size of a cottage. Bull fighting must be a bigger form of entertainment than I thought if he just raises cattle and sells them for the sport. This place is nice and I haven't even made it inside yet.

  We reach the door and he pulls a key from his pocket to insert it into the keyhole. Unlocking it, he opens the door. As I take a look inside it's exactly as I thought it was; a small house completely furnished. He walks inside and begins showing me where everything is. "The bedroom is in the back, but I'll let you show yourself to that when I leave. A bedroom is a person's private quarters," he says as he plops down on the sofa.

  I drop my bag on the floor and sit on the opposite end. He's looking at me as if he is curious about asking questions, but scared at the same time. I decide to put him out of his misery and just open that door for him. "Is there something you want to know?"

  His eyes widen at my forwardness. "Mother told me not to worry you with questions."

  "It's okay, I don't mind. I may not be able to answer it, but you can ask." He looks as if he is unsure, but I guess his curiosity won out.

  "Do you really not remember anything about yourself?" I shake my head and he remains quiet for a few seconds. "Well, we need to give you a name I suppose. You don't want to be known as, no name." I can't help but to laugh. Out of all the things he could ask, his worry of me not having a name was the first. I knew I was going to like him.

  "I guess I do need a name. What did you have in mind?" I reach over and rub my palm over his jet-black hair, messing it up.

  "Hey, don't mess up the hair," he says as he laughs. "Since you're the one that is going to be answering to it, what do you want to be called? No one ever gets to pick their own name, so you better make it count." The kid has a good personality; I like that.

  I lean back against the back of the sofa and extend my arms out to the side to rest on top. What do I want to be called? How do you just pick a name? I guess I should just pick the first name that comes to mind. "I think I like Bryce. You can call me that. What do you think?"

  He rubs his chin as if he's trying to act grown and wise, before his face breaks and the serious demeanor disappears. "I like it; simple, but different. It fits you. I bet we will figure out what kind of stuff you like in no time at all. I think we should try different things, one at a time, to see if you remember anything. I did some research," he says and I'm intrigued on how much time he's put into my condition. I've only known him about thirty minutes and already he feels like a little brother.

  I try to keep the smirk off my face and remain serious, but it's harder than I thought. "Run it by me. I want to hear what you have in mind."

  He scoots toward the middle of the couch and angles himself to face me. "Well, after Dr. Rodriguez came by to speak with dad and told him about your condition it got me interested. I read somewhere that seeing or doing certain things from your past could spark a memory and bring it to the surface." He looks at me as if he's expecting me to jump in and say something.

  I really hate to kill his optimism by being pessimistic, but my hopes of remembering were kind of shattered over the past few weeks stuck in a hospital with nothing coming back. I'm just hoping I can find some kind of clue to get back to where I came from. Getting my memories back were kind of squandered. "You do realize there is a chance my memories might never come back, right?"

  He gives me a no crap expression as if I just said the dumbest thing he has ever heard. "You're not going to get anywhere with that attitude, Bryce. Now, as I was saying, I think that if we try different things maybe a memory will come back to you." Where did the little spitfire that he is come from?

  "I'm not trying to sound arrogant, but why are you interested in helping me? What's in it for you? You don't even know me." He gives me a mischievous grin for the first time and I sense he has a cocky side for such a young kid.

  "Well, as you can see there isn't that much to do around here and I don't have any siblings. I want to learn new things like sports. Since my mother home schools me I don't get much interaction with other kids my age. I'll help you and in turn you'll be helping me. I know you'll be helping father during the day, but he won't make you work all week so maybe on your off day or in your free time you can show me something new. You look like you're an athlete with all those muscles you have, so we can try everything. I’m up for anything. Something has to work." He's so animated when he starts talking about it that I can't stand the thought of letting him down. I don't believe my memory is coming back, but I can play along for his sake.

  "Okay. If this is something you really want to do, I'm down. When d
o you want to start and what's first on the list?" He grins from ear to ear and stands quickly.

  I'm not sure what he has planned, but seeing him this excited makes me feel a little brighter in a world of gloom. He can't be older than ten. "I'm going to think about it and decide what's first. We start tomorrow after work if that's okay." I don’t respond immediately.

  His face falls a little as if he's afraid I'll back out. "Tomorrow is perfect. For now, what's on the agenda? I don't want to be a bad house guest my first night here."

  He's back to wearing the smile he's had plastered on his face since we got in this house. "I'll come get you for dinner. You can do what you want until then. Mother does everything at the same time each day so dinner will always fall at the same time. You have about an hour. I'm going to get started planning for tomorrow. You should find everything you need in here. Are you good for now?"

  "I think I can make do for a while. See you in a bit. Now go get to planning." I stand and mess up his hair again before he laughs and takes off running out the door trying to comb through the mess with his fingers. I take a deep breath, as I stand here alone. The silence is deafening. I liked it better with the kid in here, but I’ll never admit it. Maybe it won't be so bad with me keeping him occupied and working. I don't like the idea of being left alone in my thoughts.

  I walk to the bedroom and set my bag on the bed before I spot a set of sliding glass doors. The orange and pink of the horizon is visible through the door and it looks like the sun is setting. When I notice the chairs out on the small patio, I decide to walk outside.

  I take a seat in one of the chairs and stare off into the distance. It's beautiful here, but I feel like an orphan. I have no idea who my family is or where they are; what they're doing. I wonder what they're like and if they're thinking of me. Have they moved on or do they have some kind of hope I'm wandering around lost somewhere?

  Leaning forward and resting my elbows on my thighs, I try to get a grip on my emotions. My eyes begin to fill with tears as the questions race through my overwhelmed brain. I just wish I could remember something, anything. A tear is dispersed from the inner corner of my eye and runs down my nose before falling to the ground. I'm so mad and alone I could scream. I'm not only alone physically, but mentally as well. It's like I'm stuck in a black hole with no way out. What I wouldn't give for a memory right now.

  As humans we take advantage of the simple things, the things that seem useless until we're left without them. Who thinks of a life with no memories or identity? It's as if I was never born, a drifter. I might as well attempt at making a name for myself along with a new life. My name is Bryce now and here is where my life is. Whoever I was before is long gone and lying at the bottom of the ocean.

  We are whom we make ourselves and it's time I stop feeling sorry for myself and learn to live. There is a kid counting on me and I won't let him down. My life is over, but his still has a chance. Life is full of disappointment and I won't let it consume me and make me weak. Just as I'm about to get up and get cleaned up for dinner, an image flutters through my mind: her. She's walking down the stairs in a green and white dress with her hair fixed. She's impeccable and every time I see her, my chest aches and I can't figure out why.

  You hear about things like medical miracles or paranormal situations, but you never hear much of the subconscious or your soul. It's one of the greatest unknowns. What kind of power does it hold? Can it resurface things that are buried so deep inside that your mind won't let you find a way to unlock them?

  What I can't figure out is why my mind wants to surface her and no one else. I haven't gotten a single clue to anything, but her. It's like there is a third factor that I'm missing, something keeping her memory from getting completely lost. My mind may have a lock on my memories, but for every lock there is a key. I just need to find the one that fits and maybe Marcus is the key holder. For the first time, I'm starting to get an inkling of hope. In the meantime, I need to try and enjoy who I am for now, that way I can’t get disappointed.

  Chapter 6

  Kinzleigh

  My life has become a recurring cycle of three things: wake up, cemetery, back to bed, nothing more and in that order. It's been a month since Breyson died and a long one nonetheless. I haven't been able to go to school since he left. Luckily, I've been so sick in this pregnancy I have a medical excuse not to go. I'm exhausted, because I wake up screaming every night from my dreams ending. I sleep more just to get pulled into a dream with...him. If you didn't know my situation you would think I was bed ridden with my pregnancy.

  The only place I go is my daily visit to the cemetery to talk to Breyson, but today that has to change. My parents are making me go to school in an attempt to help me then I have to go to my doctors appointment to check the baby. To top it off, my parents are scheduling me an appointment with a Psychologist to try and help me cope. It’s a waste really, because I’m not going. I tried to tell her that wouldn’t help, but she refuses to listen. She is grasping at straws to bring her baby back. Her baby is never coming back.

  My alarm begins buzzing on the bedside table, reminding me of the hellacious day I have ahead of me. No one knows I'm pregnant except for Adalynn and mine and Breyson's family.

  I don't know how much longer I can keep it a secret now that I have to go back to school.

  I walk into my bathroom to shower and remove my clothing after I turn on the hot water. I look down at myself and my belly has hardened and a small bump has began forming over my abdomen, reminding me again that I’ve lost the most amazing thing that put it there, the most amazing boy. I can wear loose clothing for now to hide this pregnancy, but how much longer will it be until I can't hide it because of my belly? It's going to be hard enough with the morning sickness. Whoever came up with that name was seriously misled, because I would give anything just to be sick in the morning. I have changed the name for mine to all day sickness.

  As the thought crosses my mind a surge of nausea causes me to run to the toilet. I make it, but just as the acid burns my throat on its escape route. When will the torture be over? I have no idea how I’m supposed to sit in class all day if I can barely make it to the toilet a few feet away. If every woman that was pregnant had a pregnancy like this, I doubt there would be as many people in the world. I don't have anything to worry about though. If I can just get through this pregnancy, this will be it for me. The thought of being intimate with someone else disgusts me.

  I don't think I will ever be able to be touched by another man for as long as I live. Once you've had a piece of the utter bliss and perfection that comes from the man that captures your heart and is the keeper of your soul, everyone else falls short. I went into losing my virginity as just an act, something to do. It was more or less so I didn’t have to deal with carrying it around; baggage I wanted to get rid of. I look back now and see how very wrong I was. I had the opportunity to lose my virginity to someone that deserved it. I wasn't a married woman like I should have been, but at least it was with someone that I loved. I didn't know it at the time, but I think my heart knew it all along. My mind just had to catch up.

  Maybe if I had started out with a meaningless relationship I would have seen things differently, but the man you love has the power to ruin you; to mark you his whether he's here to claim it or not. My body will always be his just as everything else. I will never be able to move on emotionally from him. Possibly, I can learn to live with the pain enough to survive, but I'll never be happy with anyone else so there's no reason to try. I guess soul mates work that way. When one is lost they both are.

  When I feel good enough to distance myself from ring in the toilet, I step into the shower and enjoy the hot water covering me, blistering me from the heat. I need to hurry, but I don't seem to know how. Adalynn is taking me to school today. It's not in my best interest to drive right now. In the state I’m in, I’m liable to run myself over a bridge or into a tree. I pour my coconut shampoo into my hands and work it into a foamy lather, sprea
ding it throughout my hair from root to tip. It's not what I usually use as of late, but that's my little secret. I bought the same shampoo and body wash that Breyson used to use, but I have to go back into the real world now. Smelling like a man wouldn't be understandable to a normal member or society. As a matter of fact, it probably seems a little insane. Only I know that it helps keep his memory that much more alive.

  I finish bathing and shut the water off. Wrapping my towel around my wet body, I step out and brush my teeth at the sink. I just want to go back to sleep and see him in my dreams. I have no energy and all I want to do is lay in bed. How am I going to be a mother? I don't know how to pull myself together and begin to heal, to be a productive adult in the world. I'm at the bottom of a pit with no way out. I can’t meet this baby’s needs if I can’t pick myself up from this emotional free fall I’ve allowed myself to end up in. Should I be considering what might be best for this baby? As quick as the thought appears, it disappears. It’s the only thing left of Breyson like his mother said. I couldn’t give this baby up if wanted to, for that reason alone.

  I pull on my black polo dress. At least it's easy to dress, because we are required to dress in uniforms. I need to steer away from all thought. I don't think I could make a decision right now if I tried, much less a wise one. I comb through my hair and tousle the curls. It can dry on its own. I don't have the desire to impress anyone. The only person I ever wanted to impress was Breyson.

  As I slide my shoes on my feet, my door opens. Adalynn walks inside and pulls me into her arms without a word. She always was the caring and passionate one of the crew. "It's going to be okay. I promise. Everyone has been asking when you were coming back. We all miss you, Kinzleigh. The only way to heal is to continue living. I'll be with you the whole way. Here, you'll need this." She hands me a new tube of waterproof mascara. She always thinks of everything. I need to remember to thank God for the friends I have been gifted. I will never take anyone for granted again.